When I was a young man, at the beginning of my life, I looked at nature and saw that all things are subject to decay and death and thus to sorrow. The thought came to me that I myself was of such a nature. I was the same as all created things. I too would be subject to disease, decay, death, and sorrow.

But what if I were to search for that which underlies all becoming, for the unsurpassed perfect security which is nirvana, the perfect freedom of the unconditioned state?

So, in the first flush of my independence, I went against my father’s wishes, shaved off my thick black hair, put on a saffron robe, and left my father’s house for a homeless life. I wandered a long time, searching for what is good, searching after an unsurpassed state of peace.

At last, I came to a pleasant forest grove next to a river of pure water and sat down beneath a big tree, sure that this was the right place for realization.

All the conditions of the world came into my mind, one after another, and as they came they were penetrated and put down. In this way, finally, a knowledge and insight arose, and I knew that this was the changeless, the unconditioned. This was freedom.

The reality that came to me is profound and hard to see or understand because it is beyond the sphere of thinking. It is sublime and unequaled but subtle and only to be found by the dedicated.

Most people fail to see this reality, for they are attached to what they cling to, to pleasures and delights. Since all the world is so attached to material things, it’s very difficult for people to grasp how everything originates in conditions and causes. It’s a hard job for them to see the meaning of the fact that everything, including ourselves, depends on everything else and has no permanent self-existence.

If I were to try to teach this truth, this reality, nobody would understand me, I thought. My labor and my trouble would be for nothing.

But then it came to me as an insight that I should teach this truth for it is also happiness. There are people whose sight is only a little clouded, and they are suffering from not hearing the reality. They would become knowers of the truth.

It was in this way I went forth to teach:

For those who are ready, the door
To the deathless state is open.
You that have ears, give up
The conditions that bind you, and enter in.

Majjhima Nikaya Sutra

Excerpted from The Buddha Speaks edited by Anne Bancroft 

Most of the stories of the Buddha’s life are told in a very different manner. Speaking in the first person here brings a freshness to his journey, and starting at the beginning is sometimes just right for the beginning of the year.

How inspiring that he was a person like us who persevered with questioning and determination to break through the knot of existence. Evidence that, yes, this can be experienced firsthand.

However we think about practice and no matter how differently teachers try to help us wake up, the eternal story of awakening is ongoing, true, and inspiring. For some it comes in a flash or sudden enlightenment, for others, it is a gradual unfolding.

May our year ahead be filled with many enlightenments.

Suddenly or gradually, here with you for the journey,

Elana, Scribe for Daily Zen